Alcoholic Vs. Non alcoholic, MONKEYS!

God loves drunks too

A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.

"Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3:00 in the morning!"

He slams the door and returns to bed.

"Who was that?" asked his wife.

"Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.

"Did you help him?" she asks.

"No, I did not, it is 3:00 in the morning and it is pouring rain out there!"

"Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself! God loves drunk people too."

The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain.

He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"

"Yes," comes back the answer.

"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.

"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.

"Where are you?" asks the husband.

"Over here on the swing set," replied the drunk.

This is how adults drown in shallow water

Rapper Flo Rida may be the first Bugatti Veyron owner with a DUI

Flow Rida hit a personal low in his lifetime, after deciding to jump into his red and black Bugatti Veyron, after indulging in a "few" drinks on Wednesday night. Probably the first Veyron owner who gets pulled over NOT because of speeding. The police officer making the arrest said Flo Rida had extremely red eyes and was slurring his speech when he was pulled over. In an attempt to escape the usual roadside sobriety test , Flo Rida told the police: "Officer I can’t do this. I don’t feel I can walk a straight line. I had a few drinks."